Wow! I Am Honored!

I can't believe this one. I have been asked to do a 'blurb' for a book. I here you ask 'whats a blurb'?

Well pick up the average book, like 80% of them, and look at the back cover, they have those one sentence reviews written by famous people. Well I have been asked if I would do one for a book coming out on June! This is the next best thing to actually being an author.

Now if that isn't bragging rights I don't know what is.

I also received an really interesting manuscript this week. Alas it looks like its publication is going to be delayed for a while. It concerns the assassination of Martin Luther King, unfortunately the author and publisher are concerned about some potential litigation from the 'very far right' white supremacy sector, and have decided to spend more time backing up their assertions. Now personally I would be more concerned about my personal safety rather than the potential for a law suit. These are some not very nice people to have on their 'bad side'.

Ah, the joys of being a reviewer, I get to review things that don't actually exist yet! hahahaha

Book Reviewing Makes You Smarter!

One of the genres that I really detest is business oriented books. Walk into any book store and there is a whole section dedicated to the subject of getting ahead in business. You Too Can Be A CEO, How To Make Your First Million, etc, etc.

Generally speaking all of these books contain exactly the same 'common sense' ideas, but authors keep churning them out. About the only thing that changes is the order of the chapters. If these authors are so damn good at making money why are they writing books? Hell I'd be on a sail boat somewhere warm, screw writing books! Who needs the headache of publishing?

The other peeve I have is the style of writing that associates itself with this type of book. Lots of font changes, lots of italics, bold, caps, and bloody ordered lists. This is the book version of a scam get rich quick web site! They use exactly the same techniques.

THE 57 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO BEFORE TAKING A CRAP

1) Make sure that your Backberry has new batteries in it
2) You have your Day Planner
3) Your pen works!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
57) There is toilet paper!

It was my misfortune to have to deal with two of these stupid books this week. I hated every moment, and can honestly say that I learned absolutely nothing, other than the fact that you would need your head examining to go out and actually spend your hard earned money buying them. The best way to get rich is to not waste your money, and this is a complete waste of money.

Jan's Willy Wonka!

Nope this has nothing to do with Chocolate Factories! Jan decided that our bathroom needed a little makeover, and installed a really nice rug thing in front of the wash basin, also one of those funky things that go around the base of the toilet. It's very good, it keeps your feet warm while doing the biz.

Not content with these major lifestyle enhancements, she also added one of those pointless Toilet seat cover warmers! Why does a toilet seat cover need a warmer anyway? In my opinion toilet seat covers are right up there with Chia Pets!

The net result is that Jan has created a monster! The toilet cover warmer has changed the entire dynamics of the plastic bits. To take a leak, you now run the gauntlet of the Willy Wonka. Just as you are enjoying getting rid of that 6 pack, 'KERASH', and the Willy Wonka has nailed you!

I am thinking about renting a Porta-Potty, the bathroom is just out and out to dangerous for male use!

Woo Hoo, I'm Probably Going To Live!

The past three months have been hell. And I blame it all on the computer! I was using the damn thing when my arm went numb. The Hospital gleefully informed me it was likely a stroke! It turned out that it wasn't, but they got their digs in with CT scan that showed I had at some point actually had a stroke, the technical term being 'Silent Stroke', there are no symptoms, it just happens.

This started a nasty sequence of hospital related activities that I did not enjoy at all! I hate hospitals to begin with, I don't even like visiting people in the place, never mind being the 'victim'. I swear they stick needles in just because they have a sadistic streak.

Today I got the results of all of the poking, prodding, pricking, MRI'ing, Ultrasounding, heart monitoring, CT scanning, and all the rest of it! Other than having ridiculously high Blood Pressure, they have declared me likely to live! When they took my BP I clocked in at 212/110 which had them reaching for their Tums!

So they have upped the drug level to a dosage that is in the range that likely contravenes the SALT treaty, and I am now the proud owner of a swishy at home Blood Pressure monitor! I wonder how much I can get for it on eBay?

Oh, and for the foreseeable future I get to meet with the delightful Stroke people every two weeks. About the onlt amusing part of this whole adventure is that they want to include Jan in these sessions, so she likely will get as much abuse as I do! hahahaha

Clint Boxes

I live in dread of Clint Boxes. OK, let me explain what a Clint Box is. As you all know I do reviews, pretty much I will review anything, you send it, I'll review it. Well what happened years ago, well it seems like years ago, although it was likely only a few months ago, I started requesting DVD's on a pretty regular basis from one particular US distributor. They liked my reviews so much that they decided that I didn't need to ask anymore, the Director of Publicity selected me for special treatment. They just ship me everything they have! Clint is his name, and boxes is his game!

Now that might seem like a great idea. But, it really has its downside. These guys are so big that they release at least one item each day. This has resulted in a constant stream of innocuous looking brown cardboard boxes arriving. Even the delivery guy knows them because he is here so often. On the rare occasion that I actually see him, he hops out of his truck, comes bounding up the pathway, and with a smile says "Looks like a Clint box".

Clint Boxes are taking over the apartment! They are everywhere! Jan lives in fear and dread of them. Well most of them anyway! A couple of days ago I was heading out the door to go to work, and what did I find? A very frosty Clint Box, it had been there all night, the temperature as something like 10f. Unfortunately the contents survived the arctic conditions!

Later that morning another Clint Box arrived, but Jan didn't mind getting that one, it contained some very yummy Belgium chocolates! Clint is now Jans hero!

New Years Resolutions....

This has to be the silliest idea known to man. I'm sure that Hallmark has a whole series of cards dedicated to the subject.

In a wild move, I have decided to make two New Years resolutions. I'd love to share them with you, but they both involve Jan in a French Maids outfit!