AWEB#14 Perfect 10

Another stellar brew from the damngoodbeer folks in Calgary. Man, we have the best beverages here!

Where they came up with the name for this monster is beyond me, unless it is a reference to the severity of the hangover that results from drinking it.

Clocking in at a brain cell killing 8.5% alcohol this is another beer that is best left to the professional.

I am always looking for fun projects and decided to take a 6 pack of Perfect 10 for a spin.


Sunday's are my favorite day, I like to get up early, blast some tunes on the computer and enjoy a nice cold beverage. I can honestly say that Perfect 10 is not a breakfast beer. That first can was really hard going.

The taste was something akin to drinking Liquid Plumber, in fact this might make quite a good unblocker of drains.

Take my advice leave this beer at the liquor store!

Who Is DW?

My last post about Axe has created a furor among the people I know. As a single voice they are asking "who is DW"?

My journalistic principals prevent me from sharing exactly who my sources are.

While I cannot disclose my source DW, I think it would be ok to highlight some of his achievements:

• Has broken more bones than Evil Knievel
• Most EMS workers in Calgary know him on a first name basis
• His favorite Microsoft product is Excel
• Michael Flatley got the inspiration for Riverdance from DW
• He is going to be the first Inductee into the Axe Head hall of fame
• Karl wants to turn him into a pretzel! **

It's tough at the top!

** Judge Judy says this is just hearsay and is not admissible in court.

AWEB#13 Axe Head Calgary

I do not want to appear superstitious or anything, but I noticed I was up to AWEB number 13. Well I decided that this post should be about something truly 'off the wall'. And Axe Head hits the spot!


Axe is produced in Calgary, I can only assume that the people involved in the brewing process wear full Biological suits at all time.

This stuff is 11% alcohol, and tastes like it contravenes the S.A.L.T 2 treaty. To bring your enemy to his knees you do not need atomic bombs, germ warfare, or even ground troops. All you need is Axe!

Drop a couple of thousand bottles of Axe on your enemy and they will be begging you for the anthrax!

I am pretty certain that Axe could provide a swift and certain end to the conflicts happening in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I am certain that if someone was to mention Axe to Hezbollah that would be the end of that nastiness as well!


You want to bring Al Queda to its knees? Feed Axe to the prisoners in Gauntanamo Bay!

Axe is not one of my favorite beverages, but I did interview a 'true believer'. Of course I cannot reveal my sources name, journalism survives and thrives on the fact that you can have secret sources, Watergate had 'Deep Throat', the Clinton/Lewinsky nonsense was first published by Matt Drudge, and you can be sure that he had his 'secret source' (maybe the dry cleaner?).

So with that in mind, I obviously cannot reveal my 'In Source' about Axe. Lets call him 'Da Won', or to make it simpler, DW.

DW refers to Axe as 'Rocket Fuel', I wonder if NASA has considered this as a replacement for that nasty explosive mixture that they currently use? Ooops, Axe is nasty and explosive!

DW says that the first Axe is hard to get along with. The first couple of gulps will require the user to have a good ability to stop the 'gag reflex'.


About 1/4 of the first bottle down things start to improve, your taste buds are dead, and the 11% alcohol starts to kick in.

By the end of the first bottle even a migrane is fixed.

Bottle number 2 goes down very easy. Maybe too easy. Unfortunately all ability to move around on 2 legs and speak coherently have disappeared.

Bottle number 3 should only be attempted by 'professionals'. Even DW has had problems with bottle number 3. The most common result being the intervention by the Emergency Medical Service.

Generally the problems have involved broken bones from falling over and concussions, of course the good news was that no anesthetic was required for the actual medical procedure, Axe is better than morphine for dulling pain.

AWEB#12 Michelob

In 1980 I had the opportunity to visit Chicago. This was my fist adventure onto American soil. Myself and three co-workers spent an interesting week living at the Downtown Hilton.


It is a fine old hotel boasting four or five bars and about the same number of restaurants.

What caught my eye right after checking in was it also had a liquor store.


After gruelling flight in business class what I needed was another beer! But what to buy? I knew nothing about American brands, I decided to pick the one with the best looking label. And that was Michelob!

After a quick icy cold Michelob in the hotel room it was time to regroup with the rest of the boys in the bar.

After a couple of beers one of our number decided that he wanted to go out and explore the town. The rest of us opted to stay right where we were.

Tom was gone about an hour. When he returned his eyes were really big, and it looked like he had seen a ghost.

After a couple of strong belts of medicinal whiskey he told us his story.

He had opted to exit the hotel through the back door, and that was his first mistake. The Downtown Hilton 'fronts' onto the lake and is very ritzy, the back though dumps you by 'the loop' and is really sleazy. Tom had wandered for a few minutes and had spotted a neon sign advertising 'Mexican Food', and a flashing neon arrow pointing down to the basement of a rather rundown building.

Exercising really poor judgment he had ventured into the establishment.

The first odd thing about it was the abnormally high percentage of women. In fact the only male in the place other than Tom was an 8 foot 6 black guy behind the bar. Tom sidled up to the bar and climbed about a stool.

"What do you want" was the rather gruff greeting the bartender offered.

"Mexican Food" Tom replied.

"We only serve lesbians in here" the bartender continued.

"OH, OK, I'll have one of them and some fries".

Apparently at this point King Kong came from behind the bar, picked Tom up by the scruff of his collar, carried him up the stairs and deposited him in an untidy heap on the sidewalk.

Blogger Hell

After a few cold beverages yesterday I decided to make a minor tweak to the template of this blog. That was a really, really bad move! I discovered to my horror that there is a very important feature missing from Blogger, there is no 'Undo' button.

Things went from bad to worse in the space of a couple minutes. I completely trashed my template and had to reload a 'virgin' one. The net result of this was losing all of the modifications that I had made over the past couple of months!

My solution was to walk down to the liquor store and buy more beer!

So I guess i'll just have to start over hahahahahahaha

AWEB#11 Simons Homebrew

The great beer strike of 86 went on way too long. Things got so bad that I took matters into my own hands.


I had no experience with brewing, but, what the hell, how hard can it be?

A trip to the local Home making beer and wine store made me quake. The whole meal deal was over $100. That was way too much money.


I did find a kit in a can for $5, that's more my kind of price range. Of course I would have to improvise on the actual equipment.

My wife had a big pan, so that's what I used to stew all the icky stuff in.

The big issue was where to put it so it could rest. I had no bottles, and even if I had bottles, I had no way to put caps on them.

My solution to this problem was a trip to 'Canadian Tire'. I bought 2 5 gallon plastic gas containers.

The first part of the process went quite well. I boiled water, put the 'dehydrated' beer mix in, and filled up the gas cans.

About 2 weeks later..... My boss (actually my bosses boss) gave me a ride home. Being the consummate host I asked John if he would like a beer. John said 'sure, where the hell did you get beer from'?

"uh, it's homemade"

It tasted like something no sane person would put in their mouth, but, it had a kick like a mule. The biggest hurdle was opening the Gas can. The yeast had worked its magic and the Gas Can was about 25% bigger than the one I bought in the store.

John and I hardly put a dent in the can! Serious drinkers, Serious drink, Serious hangover the next day.

AWEB#10 Olympia

The big beer strike of 86 brought out the best in some people. My next door neighbor Don's brother was a fine example.

Although he lived in Saskatchewan, he took pity on us Albertan's and made a beer run to Montana.
He came back with his pickup truck loaded! This was my introduction to Olympia.

Apart from some minor issues with the police, it was a great evening.

While researching this post I found an account that I had written in 96, it is worth a read!

Oh, the good ole days! hahahahahahaha

AWEB#9 Uncle Ben's

Back in the bad old days of the 1980's the government regulated beer in Alberta. The only place you could buy the stuff for home consumption was at the 'Alberta Liquor Control Board' ACLB outlets. This was worse than Microsoft's monopoly on operating systems! To make matters worse the bars and ALCB outlets were closed on Sundays. I don't know how people survived under these draconian conditions.

As a side note, in 1988 the city passed a bylaw permitting bars to open on Sundays because the Winter Olympics were happening and Calgary would look pretty damn silly if visitors from around the world could not get a nice cold brew, the 'rule change' was supposed to be for a 28 day period. The revenues generated in taxes though meant that the law was extended indefinitely.

In 1986 there was a strike by the brewers and delivery drivers. This basically resulted in the liquor stores having no beer. A disaster for the average drinking Albertan.

There was one company though that was still operating, Uncle Ben's from Red Deer. For a period of several weeks this was the only draft beer available in the bars. It was some truly skunky green beer. I think the life cycle of Uncle Bens went something like this:

• 09:00 Brew it
• 12:00 Stick it in a barrel
• 13:00 load on truck
• 14:00 Deliver to bar in Calgary
• 14:01 Serve to customer
• 14:05 Customer is in the restroom with stomach issues!

This is not a brew I have fond memories of!

AWEB#8 John Courage

Shortly after the project with Lyons was completed I changed jobs and started working for Commercial Union, an insurance place. My mission in life was to plan and implement a network of 50 or so IBM mini computers. This time based on the IBM 8100. It looked like a fun job at the start, but it soon became clear that the company had pulled a bit of a fast one.

Six of us had been recruited , one for each of the 6 disciplines that their current staff did not have experience in. Our mission was to get the project rolling then hand the reins over to the existing staff and quietly ride off into the sunset.

I decided that while I was there I would take full advantage of whatever 'perks' were to be had. The best by far was the 2% staff mortgage. So I got me one! I bought what the brits call a 'flat', (apartment to you folks in the US of A) in a place called Mottingham.


Lady luck was on my side. It turned out that pub was less than 100 yards from my door step.


The 'Porky' as the locals called it served John Courage beer. While it is not one of my absolute favorites, it is quite drinkable considering that it is massed produced.

Animal Gangs

Just when you think the gang situation is as bad as it can get. You have the Hells Angels, the Crips, the Bloods, and who knows how many others. Well it turns out that gang violence is also rampant in the animal world, as this photo shows!

Click on the picture for a bigger version.

AWEB#7 Young's of London

My introduction to Young's fine beverages also occurred during my time at Lyons in Hammersmith. A couple of blocks from Cadby Hall was an establishment called the 'Brook Green Hotel'. I am happy to report that my research shows that it is still in existence 30 years later, and still selling Young's beer.


Due to exercising some extremely bad judgment at work I found myself working on a time critical project that was based on one of IBM's less than stellar mini computers (in 70's speak, a mini computer was anything that only required a forklift to move, as opposed to a mainframe that required heavy lifting gear).

The project involved creating about 50,000 lines of computer code that had to be operational in 6 months. The accepted norm at that time was 10 lines coded and tested per day, 10 x 180 = 1800. I knew I was in deep doo doo. Scouring the planet, and nearby galaxies we managed to find someone as stupid as I was, the infamous Dave Groves. Dave and I quickly fell into a regular pattern.


Go to work on Monday morning, and program our hearts out till the 'Brook Green Hotel' opened on Tuesday (11:am). Get very drunk and pass out. Go to work Wednesday morning and work till the bar opened on Thursday, Get drunk and pass out. Go to work Friday morning and work till the bar opened on Saturday. Get drunk, and pass out.

Sunday was a day of rest! Usually spent sleeping.


This regime lasted for the entire 6 months. We both had suitcases that we kept at work with clean (or little used) clothes in it. On one occasion I went to visit my mother and asked her if she would do my laundry. She was not happy when she discovered that it consisted of 40 dress shirts. If I ran out of shirts, I'd just buy some more!

I have no idea how many pints of Young's Dave and I consumed during this project, but it was a considerable amount.

AWEB#6 Fullers of London

Its been a while since I did an AWEB (Around the World in Eighty Beers).

In the mid 70's I was employed by the J Lyons company working in the Cadby Hall location in Hammersmith, London. Cadby Hall had all of the charm of Folsum Prison.

My introduction to Fullers beer came on the first Friday lunchtime that I worked there. One of my co-workers told me that we HAD to go for a beer, and that beer HAD to be bought at "The Red Cow".

It transpired that the 'Cow' was a very popular lunch time haunt on Fridays because they had a stripper.

What I found unusual about the "Cow" was everything was nailed or bolted down. My Co-worker explained that this lowered the number of potential weapons that were available to the customers! I did not beleive him at the time, but while researching this post I came across the followng:



Latymer's is on the site of the Red Cow, whose history goes back to the 17th century and which was a renowned (or notorious) punk rock venue in the 1970s. The current pub was built in the early 1980s but not opened until 1988. On its opening it was called the Red Cow but was renamed in 1989

The stripper was a 300lb monster whose previous job probably involved the 'Hitler Youth'. She had short blonde hair, and muscles that the average body builder would have wet dreams about.

She had all of the dancing grace of a bull elephant, and the crowd went wild!

Oops, I supose I should mention the beer. Fullers makes a couple of brews, London Pride and ESB. London Pride is their regular bitter. Its pretty heavy going. ESB is for serious drunks only! ESB is beer with a message, and the message is..... BEWARE.


There is a postscript to this. In 2000 I was living in Phoenix, Arizona, and I had a couple of friends who wanted to set up a joint buisness in the computer consulting field. Seeing as I wasn't paying, I had no objection to entering into an LLC (Limited Liability Corporation) with them. The major problem was what to call the stinking company. I hated the idea of 'Computer Nerds', or anything else that sounded stupid, equally I didn't want it to sound like a law firm 'Barrett, Buzuyen and Smith'.

We decided to go for a long beery lunch at one of the psudo brit pubs and thrash out once and for all what we would call the company. Several beers into the adventure we were no closer to a resolution. I looked up at the bar, and to my amazement saw that they sold Fullers ESB. "Thats it I proclaimed, we call it ESB". "But what does it stand for" they asked? Well it used to stand for 'Extra Sensory Bitter', but I don't supose that would work for us, so how about 'Excellent Solutions for Business'.

And that was what we called it!

The Iron Chef

Now I have long believed that the Japanese stole my idea on this. I am the original Iron Chef, I just cook whatever I can find in the house!

Its amazing the things that you can make with the strangest of ingredients, you ask Jan if you don't believe me!

Anyway the Food Channel runs an hour long show called the Iron Chef, actually there is a new version 'Iron Chef America', but I prefer the Japanese version with its terrible English voice over and the choice of truly bizarre theme ingredients.

Most of which are NOT available in your local Safeway supermarket. When was the last time you saw 'Natto' at the supermarket?

Just in case you are not familiar with Natto, it is stinky, sticky, fermented Soy beans, that the Japanese seem to think are an important ingredient, although considerable effort seems to go into disguising the flavor so you don't have to actually taste the nasty stuff! One report I read said that it was a cross between smelly socks and vomit, with a consistency of something that you would find in the U-bend of a blocked toilet.

The concept of the show is to pit two chefs against each other in a culinary battle that lasts one hour. They are given a theme ingredient and they have to come up with as many dishes as possible. The festivities are presided over by chairman Kaga, whose dress sense is about as good as Michael Jackson's.



The House chefs usually win. Well hell its TV!

Anyway, being a big fan of the Food Channel I was thinking about who I would invite for the ultimate Iron Chef battle. There are lots to chose from. But I think my choices would be a couple of Brits. Now Brits are not really known for their culinary abilities, Fish n Chips with mushey peas are pretty much haute cuisine.

If you are fan of food, you have probably at some point seen Chef Gordon Ramsey, his culinary ability is only exceeded by his colorful use of English swear words. One of my favorite parts was when he told a bunch of would be American chefs they were 'A load of wankers'. That is definitely a brit swear word!

Gordon would make a delightful contestant.

For his opponent I would have to pick Jaime Oliver, another Brit celebrity chef. Jamie's claim to fame was a crusade he went on to revamp 'School Dinners', and I must say that the ones I remember were not nearly as grim as the ones that he was trying to fix.
This in my opinion would make the perfect 'Iron Chef' matchup. Quite how the Japanese commentators would react is beyond me. Even better, how the English voiceover version would sound.

As to the theme ingredient, almost anything would be fun. Natto of course is the first thing that comes to mind, but almost any icky stuff would do!

These would be fun! (if you need to ask what they are........ don't order them)

Bulls nuts! Now thats some good eating!

My 'Deer' friend Cadman

My wife Jan and I chat online, before you ask, yes we do have cams, but we sit about 2 feet from each other so we do not use them often! One of the folks we chat with is a guy from Virginia. He is a hunter and fisherman.

This picture was taken in his back yard! I guess the bow wasn't handy, but the camera was!

Olden But Golden

I was poking around in the dark corners of one of my hard drives and found some things that I would like to share.

Microsoft takes a lot of heat about a lot of different things. This one has not been mentioned on CNN yet, but I am sure its only a matter of time.

I use Microsoft Office products everyday. This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I do actually have a job. I write books and teach people about Microsoft products for a living. Now one of the most odious aspects of all Office products is the 'Sodding Paperclip', this little bastard rears its ugly head at the most inopportune moments, offering advice that is akin to what you find in fortune cookies. I personally have never found this menu, but I like it.

Over the years the 'sodding paperclip' has got worse and worse. This Word XP screenshot says it all.

Iconic Branding

I have been looking around the Internet, and on TV, and have come to the conclusion that the most successful enterprises have created great brand name recognition. Their Logo's are universally known, even if you do not personally own any of their products.

Some examples include:




Yup we all recognize these brands! Product branding is an important aspect for any organization that wants to get ahead.

Well one of my (many) endeavors is 'The BeerBox', an amazing piece of high technology, even if I say so myself. This technological wonder is where I host some of my Web sites.

Well if I am going to get ahead in this 'dog eat dog' world I decided that I needed to create an iconic logo. So next time you are surfing your favorite web page scroll down to the bottom and see if the page has my logo.
So far I have had no reply from CNN, or Microsoft about moving their web sites to the BeerBox, but I am sure that it is because it's the weekend. The decision makers won't be in till Monday.

Getting Rich Online (part 4)

More from my good buddy Alastair.......

"I have forwarded your blog to a few people, and my friend Tim (he is not quite right) also supports your worthy noble cause and said he'd contribute.........

So you started out in the UK? i am in Tring in Hertfordshire, (25 miles north of London).

Keep up the good work!!

Alastair"

All I can say is the Brits are damn fine folks! (Oh I am one!)

I am going to email him and see if he has a web site, cos I sure will put a link in to it. And a Calgary Stampede "Yaaa hooo" thanks to his buddy Tim!

Getting Rich Online (part 3)

Woo Hoo , great things happened overnight. I had all but given up on this scheme, then I received this email.

" haha I like your blog. i will contribute to your beer fund, but I wont use paypal as they are bastards. give me your address and i will send you £2.00 by cheque (almost $4) go to be enough for a couple beers. not a crate, but you're on the way!!

Alastair"

The downside of this is I have had to modify my Beer-o-Graph.

Sincere thanks to you Alastair!

The quest continues! hahahahahaha

Getting Rich Online (part 2)

Well, here we are 24 hours into the big drive to buy me a case of beer and I have to report that the beer fund is still sitting at $0.00

Obviously it is more difficult than I had anticipated. hahahahaha

I suspect that I should probably keep my day job at this stage.

Have a great day!

Getting Rich Online

This sounds like such a great idea. There have been a couple of great examples recently. Some guy started with a Red Paperclip

and turned it into a house in less than a year by swapping it for stuff.



Another guy created the Million Dollar web page, the idea was you could by a pixel for a dollar, buy a bunch of pixels and you could put your ad on his page.





The guy did it! He made his million dollars.

So I have decided that this is the new 'growth' area. Making money by doing stupid things. I had a great plan, I was gonna put a 'PayPal' link on my blog, and ask everyone to send me a buck. I am fed up with being poor, this seemed like a great scheme. Hell, if I could get everyone to send me a buck, I'd be all set! I am not greedy, my plan was just to make enough to buy a case of beer!

I was even planning on having a $ counter on the page, so everyone could keep up with the amount. Alas it is not as easy a scheme as it sounds.


It seems that PayPal charges for its services, if I was reading the info correctly they want 55 cents + 2.9% for each transaction. Bummer! For each dollar someone sends I'd get about 43 cents. Thats unreasonable.

Oh well, its back to the drawing board! hahahahah

If you still feel the need to contribute you can send it here!

Noodling for Catfish

I am sure that at some time or another everyone has had a wish that they had taken up some exotic pastime, Paragliding, Gold prospecting in the Yukon, Tornado chasing in Kansas, rowing across the Atlantic in a 6 foot boat.


All of these activities take grit and determination, the chances of getting hurt, or even getting yourself killed are pretty high. The danger aspect sure gets the adrenaline rushing.

unfortunately most of us mere mortals do not have the money to circumnavigate the globe in a hot air balloon, or scuba dive with the Great White Sharks off the Australian reefs.

My extensive research has found the ideal hobby for the penniless, it includes elements of danger, and costs nothing!

Noodling! noodling has it all.

According to my research,noodling is a technique for catching large cat fish. It seems to have its center in Oklahoma. The basic idea is to put on your swimming gear and jump in the local river or lake.

The cat fish live in holes in the riverbank. You basically feel around until you find a hole. Then you can start 'noodlin'. You stick your hand in the hole and wriggle your fingers around. The movement of your digits excites the catfish, who thinks that your fingers are dinner.

The catfish grabs onto your hand. Now the good news is that catfish do not have teeth, just some rather coarse plates of cartilage. So the damage to your hand and arm is minimal.
Once its locked on you can pull it out of the hole and throw it up on the river bank.
Easy eh?


The problem is that some of the catfish can be pretty damn big. And there in lies the rub! Large fish in its perfect milieu versus man in his less than ideal environment. The fish is not at all keen on spending quality time on the river bank while the happy noodler dispatches it to that great 'fish fry' in the sky.


The fish wants to swim off with its lunch. According to some sites I found, death by drowning is not unheard of in the noodling community!

The Calgary Stampede

Yes folks, it is that time of year again. Ten days while Calgary regresses into the Wild West. But if you are planning on attending bring plenty of money with you!

I was talking to someone who claimed that one of the Midway rides was priced at $75. Apparently you strap yourself into a small capsule that is attached to the worlds biggest slingshot.

Now I like adventure as much as the next guy. But participating in my own discomfort is not high on my list of 'fun things to do'. I think I would prefer to get into 'do it yourself' lobotomies, or open heart surgery using a chain saw.

Back in the early 80's the stampede was not quite the international 10 day drunk that it is now. Well, that may be a bit of a lie, it was a 10 day drunk, but it was locals, now its folks from all over the world!

Tomorrow is the big kick off event, the parade. This parade features the largest number of horses in any parade world wide, over 1000 horses will be walking, and shiting their way through downtown Calgary.

Running time is scheduled for 2 hours. The best bit is watching the end of it. A fleet of street sweepers follow the action picking up the horses stuff!

AWEB#5 Budweiser, the King!

In celebration of the 4th of July, I thought that it would be appropriate to discuss an American beverage, yes folks, Budweiser, as American as it gets!

I have always been a fan of 'when in rome do as the romans do'. So for the 10 years that I lived in California, Bud was the tipple of choice. I hear you all whining about how Bud is crap, and I should have been drinking all those fine crafted micro brews. Problem is, you can't buy the mirco brews at 7/11, but you sure can get Bud!

My introduction to the joys of Bud was April/1988, I was working for the Winter Olympics folks in Calgary, right in the middle of the Olympics some head hunter called me and asked if I fancied moving to San Diego. With the Olympics wrapping up in about 5 days, and the prospect of having to hunt down a new job in Calgary, I said, "hell yes, When do I leave?".

As with all of my job changes the wife was excited. Another opportunity to pack up the house and relocate to another country! Even better, I had to "book it" to San Diego, and she and the kids would follow on a few weeks later.

I had had several phone conversations with my new co-worker, although not on the payroll, and not even in the same country, I was the tech support on a couple of tricky little problems they had. During the 'small talk' I had figured out that Don was a beer drinker, likely a copious consumer of beer.

I turned up at my new job on a Monday morning, Don turned out to be a 350lb bearded mountain man from Boise, Montana, and it was clear by 9am that after we had finished working, we were going drinking!

And drinking we went! I am 140lbs dripping wet, Don was over twice my size. Being the 'new kid' I decided that I would go along with whatever he was drinking. We walk in to a bar and Don (well known) orders 2 Budweisers, then looks at me and asks what I want. Well not to appear a wimp, I say "same for me, I'll take 2". The evening degenerated from there! I have vague recolections of getting back to the hotel at some unearthly time, even worse recolections of the early wake up call. But I made it into work for 8:30. Don was looking kind of bad, in fact he looked like a peterbilt truck had run him over.

His opening comment "How the hell did you survive that?". Ah, my secret was that I had lived for 8 years in Canada, the beer in canada is between 5%-7%, Bud was 3.5%.

Don and I had a firm friendship from that day on. The rest of the team must have thought we were brothers, we were always together, and always being bad!

Don, if you read this, give me a call!!!!!!

When Good Technology Goes Bad (part 2)

I have been in the computer biz for 30+ years. From a very early age I figured out that using the philosophy of "if it is not broke don't fix it" was an excellent strategy. Generally fiddling for fiddlings sake leads to bad stuff.

Unfortunately not everyone shares my philosophy, and people boldly go where no sane person should.

A fine example is the Calgary Transit web site. This is essentially a site that tells you about bus and train routes, and more importantly the schedules.

The way it used to work was you would put in the Bus or Train route number, a 4 digit stop number (which was easy to look up), and optionally the time of day that you wished to travel, the default being right now. Hit the button and voila, you got a list of the next 5 times that the transit would be at the stop.

A simple and elegant use of the internet.

This apparently was not complex enough for the web weenies at Calgary Transit. So starting today they have replaced the simple interface that a child could use, with a much more involved system that should only be used if you either have a PHD in astrophysics or are a member of MENSA.

You now have to go through several screens worth of menus. How the hell this got by the 'Quality Control' people is beyond me.

For those of you that are not convinced that this new system is a huge improvement over the old 'single page' solution, let me walk you through the new system.

Step one is to select the route number that you want, and then click on 'Get Route'.

Step 2 is to select the time of day that you want to travel, it defaults to 4:am, this is a huge improvement over using the current time! Then you need to click on 'Next'

Step 3 makes significant improvements over the old drop down list box that allowed you to type in your stop number if you knew it, or use the drop down list to find the stop number if you did not know it. This new page allows you to scroll down for 10 minutes while you locate information that you likely already know (ie the stop number!). Once you have clicked the check box for the stop you want you can then scroll around some more to find the 'Get Schedule' button.

Step 4, you finally get the information that you were looking for.

Yup, this is a huge improvement! Keep up the good work Calgary Transit!

When Good Technology Goes Bad!

I love technology, I live with it, I use it, I teach it. Life is good as long as it works, unfortunatly sometimes it does not work!

When technology does not work, it sucks the big one.

Blogger, which I use and like, occsionaly throws a little PMS fit. It sure is doing that right now, I can not upload any images. This was a real problem this morning when I was trying to write a post about Labatts Blue beer. Sudenly it decided that I didn't need no more pictures!

This frustrated me greatly, but I took it like a man, and just grabbed another beer.

SKYPE, a great idea, who could not like free stuff? Skype is free long distance calling. Unfortunatly because of history, the people that do the phones, are also the people that do the internet. All of the 'Baby bells' seem to be going out of their way to make sure that Skype traffic gets very low priority. As a result of this it is hard to use Skype.

I can understand the rational, why the hell would I let you NOT pay me for phone calls, and I get to carry the traffic anyway!

Privacy, this is another great topic. It seems like AT&T, Verizon and several other companies have been sharing our private emails, phone call records, and web habits, with the US Government. This apparently is all in the name of 'Curbing Terrorism'. I for one am all in favour of stopping Al Queda, or any other group that wants to cause trouble.

I am not so happy about the concept of them intercepting pictures of Jans boobs.

AWEB#4 Labatts Blue

I realize that I am a little tardy with this post and Canada Day was yesterday July/1 but I was too busy celebrating the birthday of this fine country to be blogging!

Anyway, onto the story. In 1980 I was living in London, England, and my employers made the mistake of sending me to Chicago fo a week to attend a big computer geeking convention. It was during this week that I got talking to a bunch of canadians and by the end of the week there was a lucrative job offer on the table.

Boy was the wife suprised when I flew home and told her the good news "Pack your stuff, we are moving to Canada!".

We were met at the airport in Calgary by my new employer who had arranged an appartment hotel for us until we could find a more permenant home. Having spent 9 hours cooped up in an airplane with a cranky pregnant wife, and an even crankier 18 month old son what I needed was a beer.

I told the wife I was going for a walk, and off I went in search of libations. I hunted high and low for anything that said Pub, Inn, Bar, etc. I was having a bit of a panic attack, I could find nothing that had my favorite words on it. I was beginning to think that I had moved to a dry country!

Then I saw a sign, this sounded promising.

It was a bar! I slipped onto one of the bar stools looked around. The bartender came over and asked me what I would like to dink, beer I told him. "which brand?". Well I had absoloutly no clue what they sold, so I said, "it doesn't matter, whatever you think is good". I am sure that he thought I had two heads and came from mars.

He brought me a Labbats Blue.

For several weeks Labatts Blue was the only beer I tried, primaraly because it was the only band I knew (or at least remember).