Friday, July 28, 2006

AWEB#13 Axe Head Calgary



I do not want to appear superstitious or anything, but I noticed I was up to AWEB number 13. Well I decided that this post should be about something truly 'off the wall'. And Axe Head hits the spot!


Axe is produced in Calgary, I can only assume that the people involved in the brewing process wear full Biological suits at all time.

This stuff is 11% alcohol, and tastes like it contravenes the S.A.L.T 2 treaty. To bring your enemy to his knees you do not need atomic bombs, germ warfare, or even ground troops. All you need is Axe!

Drop a couple of thousand bottles of Axe on your enemy and they will be begging you for the anthrax!

I am pretty certain that Axe could provide a swift and certain end to the conflicts happening in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I am certain that if someone was to mention Axe to Hezbollah that would be the end of that nastiness as well!


You want to bring Al Queda to its knees? Feed Axe to the prisoners in Gauntanamo Bay!

Axe is not one of my favorite beverages, but I did interview a 'true believer'. Of course I cannot reveal my sources name, journalism survives and thrives on the fact that you can have secret sources, Watergate had 'Deep Throat', the Clinton/Lewinsky nonsense was first published by Matt Drudge, and you can be sure that he had his 'secret source' (maybe the dry cleaner?).

So with that in mind, I obviously cannot reveal my 'In Source' about Axe. Lets call him 'Da Won', or to make it simpler, DW.

DW refers to Axe as 'Rocket Fuel', I wonder if NASA has considered this as a replacement for that nasty explosive mixture that they currently use? Ooops, Axe is nasty and explosive!

DW says that the first Axe is hard to get along with. The first couple of gulps will require the user to have a good ability to stop the 'gag reflex'.


About 1/4 of the first bottle down things start to improve, your taste buds are dead, and the 11% alcohol starts to kick in.

By the end of the first bottle even a migrane is fixed.

Bottle number 2 goes down very easy. Maybe too easy. Unfortunately all ability to move around on 2 legs and speak coherently have disappeared.

Bottle number 3 should only be attempted by 'professionals'. Even DW has had problems with bottle number 3. The most common result being the intervention by the Emergency Medical Service.

Generally the problems have involved broken bones from falling over and concussions, of course the good news was that no anesthetic was required for the actual medical procedure, Axe is better than morphine for dulling pain.

2 comments:

prying1 said...

This post reminded me of an age old line my buddy Stan Blum used to say.

"He's no fun, he fell right over"

Anonymous said...

it is well known that MATT DRUDGE PUT THE CLINTON LEWINSKY STORY ON HIS WEB PAGE ON INTERNET AND ONLY AFTER THE NEWS CORP WHO DEVELOPED THE STORY THAT IS VERIFIED IT AND THEN REFUSED TO PUBLISH IT?
HE TOOK IT AND PUBLISHED IT AND WAS TREATED WITH DERISION BY THE ENTIRE media while it was and is true, he used it it was from that source where president CLINTON WAS PROTECTED IN THIS AND IN ALMOST EVERY CASE WHERE HE WAS NEWSWORTY PRESS BAD OR NEGATIVELY IMPACTED BY A NEWSPRINT CURTAIN RIVALLING THE IRON AND BAMBOO CURTAINS!