Sunday, August 20, 2006
AWEB#13 (Part 5) Axe To The Max
Well it is 3:39am on Sunday morning. We have decided to start a little earlier than originally planned. The really great news is that Jan has decided to join in the celebrations.
She is not going to be doing Axe though, she is going to tackle a 2 litre bottle of cheap wine cooler. This stuff is the Canadian version of Mad Dog 20/20. I am so proud of her!
4:30 and we are off and running. I just took my first sip. I can definitely say that Axe Head is NOT a classic breakfast beer. This is gonna be a hard morning
This stuff is bad! Those first couple of slugs really take some intestinal fortitude to get down.
I think Jan got the better side of the deal with her Mad Canadian 20/20, which she says isn't too bad apart from the fact that it makes your lips pucker when you drink it.
All in all I think we are off to a great start.
5:15 am I am about 1/3 of the way through the first bottle. About the only good thing I can say about Axe Head is that after the first few swallows the 'gag reflex' subsides. The taste though does not improve. This might be due to the fact that it is warming up.
There is no question about it's potent 11% punch, I can feel it already.
5:45 am Well I am about 2/3 of the way through bottle number one. I suspect that Axe Head destroys brain cells. I base this observation on the fact that I watched the last hour of "Weekend at Bernies" and am now watching "American Ninja" on TV.
Jan is doing fine with her Mad Canadian, She is on drink three. Apparently the 'pucker factor' brings on the munchies, she is eating last nights leftovers.
6:30 OK we killed one of the nasty little buggers, only 2 more to go. I am feeling pretty confident about the project so far.
7:30 This is without doubt the worst beer I have ever tried. I am only about 1/3 into the second bottle, and I need a nap. It still tastes like crap.
There is no doubt about it. This stuff is bad.
I think I need Jan to look after me. The problem is that she is as wasetd as I am.
8:30 Ok 2 Axe's down and I need wild sex and a nap.
12:00 I feel much better, I am not sure if it was the wild sex or the nap.
I have cracked a Bow Valley Strong (7%) that actually tastes like beer, and I am happy.
The bottom line folks, Axe is not for me, the brain killing 11% combined with the gag inducing taste is not my thing.
The wild sex and the nap were great, but I just can not see me doing Axe Head on a regular basis.
On a 5 star scale, I give Axe Head -5,000,000 stars (for the numerically challenged that is MINUS five million).!
Posted by Simon Barrett at 2:45 AM