One of the common things I am asked to do is to help people with their resume. I have been doing this for 4 1/2 years and in that time I have critiqued or written hundreds of damn resumes.
I have seen some very strange ones in my time.
A few examples:
Where I would have used the word 'Assertive', the author preferred 'I don't put up with no shit'.
Under the heading 'Hobbies and Interests' (which I personally think is potentially a mine field and never suggest that anyone should include it), "Nightclubbing and hanging out with my bro's".
'Reed and rite english good'
The absolute classic was a guy who did not want to put his name, address or phone number on his resume. "How are they going to get in touch with you?" I asked. His explanation was that if they were serious about hiring him, the company would find a way to track him down!
A couple of weeks ago someone asked me for help, he had no computer skills, so I invited him to sit down next to me and I would do the keyboard magic.
My usual technique is to use one of my sample resumes, most of the folks that I write resumes for are looking for pretty blue collar jobs, laboring, Painting, Restaurant, etc. I then pull up the appropriate one and change it around to meet the individual needs.
He had explained that he had an application for a job with the city and wanted to have a resume to send in with the application.
My question was "What is the Job?", the answer was "Ice Hockey Coach".
Hmmmm, well I must say that I do not have a hockey coach sample resume, but what the hell, I'll give it a whirl.
Objective: To find employment with an organization that can use my coaching, management, and sporting event experience.
So far so good!
I then flesh out the rest of the resume. The 'Highlights of Qualifications' was a bit of a challenge, so I added the tried and tested:
- Great communication and organization skills
- Dedication to the organizations aims
- Dynamic and well organized management style
This guy has 20 years experience as a house painter! Internal and external, residential and commercial, he was well rounded!
"So, I see you have over 20 years experience as a painter, what makes you think that Hockey Coaching is for you?" I gently inquire.
He thinks about this for a few seconds. "well I am fed up with painting f'ing houses, and when I was a kid I played Hockey, so I know a lot about it. They would be crazy not to give me this job".
ARGHHHHHHHH just another boring day in paradise!